


depths

by azurill



Category: The Last of Us
Genre: (implied) - Freeform, F/F, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2020-12-16 10:56:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21035108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azurill/pseuds/azurill
Summary: She was always one to remember the most awful things.





	depths

Spending a day on the river with her friends, playing some songs on her guitar while she watched them (watched _Dina_, who had the audacity of wearing a swimsuit, more like) from the edge of the water, maybe dip in enough to feel the water around her calves if she was in a good mood — it was supposed to be _fun_. And it was, until Chris, tall and gangly Chris, who wears his hair in a low ponytail and likes cracking jokes, throws her over his shoulder and into the water.

Ellie breaks the surface without a sound. Keeps her body afloat in the water, even when her feet don't touch the ground. She coughs a little, some of the water having found its way inside her mouth with how surprised she was. The inconveniences stop there — they _should_ stop there — after all, she knows how to swim, having acquired the skill shortly after she and Joel started living in Jackson. Somewhere someone splashes water around. It hits her face in cold, lingering droplets and she sucks in a harsh breath, curling her hand into tight fists.

"Ellie?"

She tries pulling in another breath into her lungs but it feels a lot like she's underwater again, kicking her legs in the water and never getting anywhere, being pulled in a thousand different directions by the strong currents... then _exhaustion_. Out of air. _Joel_. Ellie had cuts on her body for weeks after that. She was always one to remember the most awful things.

"You idiots, shut up — this is serious, okay? Ellie, look at me."

"I'm — Joel — I need to —"

"He's sleeping at home," Dina assures her, her tone both gentle and firm. Her hand is cold from where it wraps around Ellie's wrist, water dripping from her bracelet and into Ellie's knuckles. "Safe."

_No, not safe. Not safe_.

Her feet brush against the grassy patches on the ground and that's when she notices Dina pulled her back to the shore. The sweat on her forehead turned cold even under the relentless afternoon sun, her tongue heavy inside her mouth, dry as sandpaper. She puts a trembling hand on her chest, hoping to ease the pressure, but even the weight of her wet shirt clinging there seems to be too much for her to handle.

Her throat might as well be closing in on itself, not allowing enough air to pass through, setting the panic in her lungs alight with a newfound fear. _Can’t breathe. Can’t breathe. _The trees around her are suffocating and demanding — too much, everything is too much — and Ellie closes her eyes tightly. 

"Look at me, look at me," Dina cups her cheeks, softly tilting her head up. Her gaze doesn't stray from her even once. "I need you to calm down, Ellie. Breathe with me, c'mon." The sunlight hits her eyes in such a pretty, wholesome way, and in her haze, Ellie thinks it can't be comfortable to have the sun shining so hotly on her face. "He's safe, Ellie. You're safe, you're with me."

Dina wraps her arms around her, softly whispering comfort, rocking her from left to right and she listens until the knot in her throat slowly comes undone. Ellie follows her instructions with some degree of difficulty, letting the air rest inside her lungs for five seconds before she lets it out. Repeats the procedure a few dozen times. Finally, she leans her forehead on Dina's shoulder, choking out her name as she takes notice of the tears leaking out of her eyes. 

Dina puts a towel around her shoulders and Ellie splutters an apology — _I'm sorry for ruining your day, everyone was having so much fun and then I just had to_ — and Dina brushes a finger on her tear-stained cheek. "Don't apologize. We're going home," she hears her say. "Alright? We're staying in, we'll watch a movie. Just you and me and Joel."

Ellie clings to her side, trembling. The sound of her voice is comforting against her ears.

"I got you. You’re safe, Ellie.”

**Author's Note:**

> FUCK CHRIS
> 
> also, panic attacks suck


End file.
